Distracted
by Jewcika
Summary: All Kyle wants is an A on his project. Kenny wants something in exchange. KennyKyle. Oneshot.


_Honestly, whoever hasn't been paired up with the Distracted Kid or the Unreliable Kid is very, very lucky. As is the Jewish student who didn't have to argue against the creation of Israel for their project. I'm just gonna mention that being the only Jewish kid in class and having a sadist teacher force you to argue against Israel is very awkward._

00

C-minus. That's what Kyle always ended up getting when he was paired up with Kenny for school projects. A C-minus because the teacher was a sadistic asshole who thought all the overachievers should be paired up with the ADD kids, and who also thought each partner should hand in a packet of handwritten notes that were to be graded.

It wasn't that Kenny was stupid. Quite the contrary, in fact. On rare occasions he could surprise the class with input surpassing that of your average straight A student. However, Kenny lacked the motivation to actually give a rat's ass about school, as well as the attention span to do any work. The fact that he could argue a point and memorize information so flawlessly (at the last minute, at least) was the sole reason why he was passing the class in the first place.

And so it was that Kyle found himself kidnapping Kenny and attempting to coax him into working on their project. So far, he had been unsuccessful in accomplishing anything but getting Kenny to whine.

"But Kyle, it's a fucking Friday! Why can't we do this on Monday or something?"

"Because it's _due_ on Monday, artard. You would have known that if you had actually been listening."

"I was listening!"

"Oh yeah? What's our topic?"

"Rwanda."

"No."

"Chechnya?"

"No."

"It's Iraq, isn't it?"

"Dammit Kenny, no! The topic's Zionism and we're supposed to defend it. More importantly, we're supposed to get the teacher to say my - our argument is better than Cartman's Israel-bashing, pro-Palestinian argument. He doesn't even care about the Palestinians, he just wants to bash the Jews!"

"...you bet him you'd get a higher grade than him, didn't you?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

Kenny sighed. "Fine, I suppose I'll help."

Kyle smiled and handed him a pile of books, some paper and a pencil.

"Ugh, notes again? Isn't there a poster or something I can work on instead?"

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but you have to do the notes at some point Kenny."

"Don't worry about it."

Once Kenny picked up the marker, Kyle hoped that he'd finish what little they could put on the poster without notes. Then he'd at least have no excuse not to help with the written part of the project.

After some peace and quiet, Kyle was at last able to relax from the stress of the Big Project, since Kenny had been kept busy working on the poster and he had finished his notes. Ready to start typing up his part of the assignment, he was confident that this would finally be their A-plus project.

"Kiss me, Kyle!"

He blinked and slowly turned around to see Kenny's hand, now adorned with eyes, hair, and a badly drawn mustache.

"I am the great Mustachio! I am handsome and have three degrees to satisfy all your kinky, intellectual needs! Now kiss me, Kyle!"

Kyle stared blankly from the decorated hand to Kenny's jubilant face. "Have you been sniffing the markers this whole time, Kenny?"

"I see no Kenny, I am Mustachio!"

Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he had acquired from Stan throughout the years. He picked up the poster in hopes that Kenny had at least accomplished _something_.

"...you misspelled Zionism."

"Sure did, pal."

"You're aware that you misspelled it and you didn't bother to look it up in a dictionary or at least ask me?"

"Well, I think it adds a little creativity to the whole project."

Kyle gritted his teeth, making a noise resembling that of an angry leopard pouncing on his prey and the anguished cry of a dying giraffe. He jumped down and pushed Kenny onto his back, straddling him and grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. 'You do this to me every fucking time! Why the hell can't you just do what you're supposed to and let me get my fucking A?!"

Kenny stared at the Jewish boy, whose face was mere inches from his own. He paused, and a smirk formed on his face. "You know, you may not have boobs or anything, but you still look pretty fucking hot when you're pissed off like that."

Kyle's eyes widened and he let go off Kenny, whose head fell to the floor with a thud.

"What the fuck?"

"That was Mustachio, I swear!"

"No it wasn't!"

"Well, you started it man! Getting all close up and shit!"

Kyle groaned and lay his face in his hands. Kenny bit his lip. He was starting to feel bad for always being the one that ruined Kyle's good grades. _How the hell do I fix this?_

"...uh, Kyle? Kenny tells Mustachio he's very sorry."

"Fuck off," Kyle snapped, his voice muffled by his hands.

"Really, he is! Come on, a kiss to make it better?" he said, smiling a Cheshire cat smile.

Kyle surveyed Kenny through his fingers, looking him up and down. He sighed, and put his hands on either side of Kenny's head. "If I do it, will you finally help me finish this?"

Kenny nodded his head frantically, determined to prove to Kyle that he wasn't as big of an ass as he made himself to be.

The redhead winced, his face a mixture of pain and resignation. "Fine."

Kenny smiled and closed his eyes, puckering his lips and faking awaiting a kiss. He had expected Kyle to jokingly kiss his hand, or "Mustachio." However, when the other teen's lips touched his own, he realized that it was not the case. Kenny didn't object, though. He simply tangled his hands into Kyle's hair and attempted to deepen the kiss. He heard a noise of protest, but after a few seconds of trying to coax him Kyle responded and let the blond's tongue wander past his lips.

When the two finally pulled away, a blush adorned Kyle's face and a lopsided grin covered Kenny's. After a few seconds, Kyle managed to scowl in the other boy's direction. "Okay, you had your fun. Work. _Now_."

Kenny began to nod, but through his haze it occurred to him that it had been a little too easy to get Kyle into this situation. His grin grew even more. "You _wanted_ this, didn't you?"

The redhead's flushed face gave him his answer, but the glare made him snap him out of his raunchy thoughts. "Work. Right."


End file.
